i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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