Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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