your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
