how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
