just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
