I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
