fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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