I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
