But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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