I just cut my nipple shaving
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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