why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
