i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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