Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
