So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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