Taylor Swift is so right about you.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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