So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
