You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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