please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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