ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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