Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
