At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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