I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
