My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
