i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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