Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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