Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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