so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
