she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
