butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
