he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
