Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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