He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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