brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
