Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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