I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
All the doctor said was why
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
