I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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