Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I want her autograph on my taint
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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