I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She even gives head with a lisp.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
