Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
