from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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