I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
