We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
