too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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