Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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