Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
