i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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