I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
