I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
