I'm drive I can fine osifer
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
