your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
